Recently, there’s been conversation about Denmark “moving away” from cry-it-out sleep methods.
Headlines can make this sound dramatic- as though something has been banned. But what’s actually happening is more nuanced. And it matters for parents.
What Does “Cry It Out” Really Mean?
The term “cry it out” is often used loosely online, but it usually refers to extinction-based sleep training – approaches where a baby’s cries are not responded to immediately, so they learn to self-soothe.
Some versions involve parents checking at increasing intervals; others have minimal intervention until morning (extincion). Research shows these approaches can improve sleep in the short term, and long-term attachment harm has not been consistently demonstrated in otherwise responsive families.
Understanding the difference helps parents make informed choices.
The Denmark Conversation
In 2019, hundreds of Danish psychologists signed an open letter discouraging the promotion of extinction-style sleep training.
This wasn’t a legal ban. It was a cultural and professional statement. The concern wasn’t about a specific number of minutes. It was about prolonged distress without co-regulation.
Scandinavian parenting culture values:
- Emotional attunement
- Nervous system regulation
- Responsive caregiving
- Minimising unnecessary distress
The conversation wasn’t “sleep training is evil.” It was:
How can we support sleep without sacrificing connection?
The False Binary
Parents are often made to feel there are only two choices:
- Do cry-it-out.
- Be exhausted forever.
That’s a false binary. You do not have to choose between chaos and extinction. There is a middle path.
The Equilibrium Embrace™
And This is exactly why I created The Equilibrium Embrace™ within Born to Sleep.
It is not anti-sleep.
It is not anti-structure.
It is not anti-independence.
It is anti-extremes.
The Equilibrium Embrace™ balances:
- Developmental science
- Attachment security
- Nervous system regulation
- Parental wellbeing
- Gentle structure
- Real-life practicality
It recognises that:
- Babies are not designed to self-soothe through distress in the early months.
- Parents need sleep.
- Independence is built gradually.
- Confidence comes from understanding, not endurance.
- Parents like myself are so hard wired into our babies cries how could we not respond to them and the need they are communicating?
It is responsive, but not reactive.
Structured, but not rigid.
Supportive, not hands-off.
Empowering, not overwhelming.
Where Born to Sleep Fits
Born to Sleep prepares you before your child arrives, and continues through the early years.
Sleep struggles aren’t about “bad children.” They happen because parents are learning at 2am, exhausted and unsure.
When you understand:
- Wake windows and age-appropriate sleep needs
- Normal night waking at each stage
- Tired cues and signs of overstimulation
- How sleep patterns evolve from birth to six years
You don’t panic. You don’t Google in the dark. You don’t feel desperate.
Support matters, whether your child is a newborn, toddler, or preschooler.
A New Direction in Sleep Conversations
Globally, the sleep conversation is evolving:
- Less focus on rigid independence
- More focus on regulation and connection
- Less pressure to “fix” children
- More support for parents
The Equilibrium Embrace™ sits confidently in that space.
It allows you to:
- Prepare
- Respond gently
- Build sleep confidence
- Protect connection
- Avoid extremes
- Feel supported
You do not have to ignore your instincts.
You do not have to choose between sleep and attachment.
You can have both.
If you’d like to explore how The Equilibrium Embrace™ can support sleep, connection, and confidence for your family, from newborn to preschooler, I’d love to have a chat.
Book a free discovery chat here
Together, we can create a gentle, practical plan that works for your child, your family, and your sleep.
